On Her Loving Two Equally

"On Her Loving Two Equally" Summary

"On Her Loving Two Equally" by Behn is a lyric poem in three stanzas. In it, the poetic voice is a female. During the 17th and 18th centuries, the majority of English writers were men. A poem from a female's perspective is unique from that time period. The poem is a lyric told from the first-person point of view. A woman, the speaker, expresses that she is conflicted between two men: Damon and Alexis. She feels equal attachment to both and can't resolve the internal dispute.

Rather, her dilemma is that when she is with one, she longs for the other. And when both are in her presence, she is in pain and unable to be with either one. The speaker uses the final stanza, which begins the turn or poetic shift, to ask the winged Roman god of love, Cupid, to withdraw one of the arrows he has shot into her, and cure her of this "fever" (line 14). However, the poetic voice indicates that either arrow he withdraws, and therefore lover she leaves, will leave her dissatisfied.

Fig. 1 - Aphra Behn was a poet and playwright who became well-known first for her comedic plays.

"On Her Loving Two Equally" Poem

Fig. 2 - Cupid, according to the Romans, is a chubby figure with wings and a golden bow and arrow.

"On Her Loving Two Equally" Rhyme Scheme

"On Her Loving Two Equally" is an extremely balanced poem in terms of form. Each stanza is six lines long. Behn uses end rhyme throughout her poem. The rhyme scheme in the poem is AABBCC DEDEFF GGHHJJ. However, the end rhyme, when words at the end of a line rhyme with words at the end of another line, consists mostly of near rhyme rather than the typical perfect rhyme most often used during the time Behn produced the poem.

The slant rhyme is often used in childhood nursery rhymes. However, it is not nearly as phonetically satisfying as near rhyme. In implementing slant rhyme, Behn leaves the reader feeling a bit dissatisfied, much like the poetic voice feels with her current romantic relationships.

"On Her Loving Two Equally" Analysis

"On Her Loving Two Equally" is an eloquently written poem that seems to effortlessly communicate the thoughts and emotions of a woman torn between two loves. Her indecision is communicated through the use of literary elements such as rhetorical question, alliteration, diction, and metaphor.

Stanza I of "On Her Loving Two Equally"

The speaker opens by asking a rhetorical question within the first two lines of the poem.

The speaker intends the question to express how her love is equally powerful for two different individuals. This equality is expressed first in a balance of language through the use of alliteration.

The phrase in line 2, "twixt two", consists of single-syllable words that both begin with the "t" sound. The balanced syllables paired with the punctuating "t" sound reveal an equally-weighted measure of passion she holds for two men. The speaker then explains that her first love interest, Damon, successfully gained her love because Alexis played "his part" (line 4). And Alexis was able to "gain [her] lover" (line 6) because Damon helped. Further showing equality and balance, the speaker states each man's name twice within the first stanza.

Stanza II of "On Her Loving Two Equally"

The poem's second stanza focuses on the speaker's feelings when she can't be with one of the men she loves. Ironically, it reveals that though her love for them may be balanced, her situation is very unstable. The diction Behn uses in this second stanza reveals the speaker's discontent and emotional volatility.

Word such as "sigh" (line 8), "mourn" (line 8), "miss" (line 9), "scorn" (line 10), "languish" (line 11), and "die" (line 11) express a physical and emotional distress. The speaker, although having more, incessantly feels she is missing out. And in the presence of both, she feels as though she is empty.

Twice within this second stanza, Behn uses onomatopoeia to show the speaker as unhappy.

The onomatopoetic use of the word "sigh" in lines 8 and 12 reveals the speaker's emotional distress. Rather than being free to show love and elation toward the men she adores, she is restrained and languishes in emotional turmoil.

Fig. 3 - The speaker in "On Her Loving Two Equally" is conflicted and can't love freely because she loves two equally.

Stanza III of "On Her Loving Two Equally"

Stanza III of the poem marks the poetic shift. The speaker pleads with Cupid to help her from this emotional affliction. The irony of the situation is that in loving both Damon and Alexis equally, she is free to love neither. Behn employs the use of metaphor in lines 13-14 to show the conflict.

The metaphor comparing the speaker's emotional state to a "fever in [her] blood" shows her physically unwell. The inability to decide which one to love more, and the inability to love either one freely, create a sense of agitation and anxiety.

Behn's allusion to Cupid references Cupid's "gold-pointed dart" (line 15). The implication is that the speaker is not in control of her own emotions and blames Cupid for her actions or infidelity in love. According to myth, the deity Cupid would carry two types of arrows. If an individual were struck with a lead-tipped one, they would feel an immediate aversion and be filled with the need to flee. If Cupid struck an individual with a gold-tipped arrow, they would experience irresistible passion, like our speaker. Again, Behn playfully pokes fun at men who would blame a woman's beauty or use other excuses for their adultery rather than take responsibility for their actions.

"On Her Loving Two Equally" Meaning

'On Her Loving Two Equally" by Aphra Behn is a brief but thought-provoking lyric poem. Through her use of diction, metaphor, onomatopoeia, alliteration, and rhetorical question, Behn reveals the irony of the situation. When in love with two people, your passion is subdued and not true. To be truly romantically connected to two individuals equally is not possible.

Behn's poem is a parody of the male-generated literature of the time. She was ahead of her time, writing during a time when only mostly men wrote, working for her own living as opposed to depending on a man, and challenging social expectations. "On Her Loving Two Equally" exposes the socially accepted tendency for men to take on both a wife and mistress during her times while leaving both the women dissatisfied in the relationship. Men typically suffered no consequences for this action, and Behn's poem humorously exposes a woman's perspective being torn between two admirers and serves as a parody of real life. She keeps to the light tone of the poem by adapting a fickle voice for the speaker.

The poem originally appeared in one of Behn's plays, The False Count (1682). It was originally titled "How Strangely Does My Passion Grow." The comedic play, like the poem, attacks society's double standard in accepting and allowing men to take on multiple partners while women were expected to condone the disloyalty and remain devoted.