Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Summary

The story "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" by Joyce Carol Oates begins in the normal world. Centered on a 15-year-old girl, Connie. She is a normal teenager: at odds with her family, evades responsibility, and obsessed with appearances, herself, and her social life. Connie's mother is critical of her, chastising Connie for admiring herself in the mirror and being messy. Connie's older sister, June, is a contrasting figure for Connie, as she is responsible and obedient. June's evenings out with friends enable Connie to go out as well.

Connie's evening out is uneventful at first, as she typically goes out with her best friend. One evening, she leaves her friend and goes to have dinner with a boy, Eddie. As she is walking through the parking lot with Eddie, Connie spots a man in a gold car. He smirks at Connie and sinisterly states, "Gonna get you, baby." Alarmed, Connie hurries away. This marks her first sighting of Arnold Friend, who is initially portrayed as young, bold, and attractive.

Summer continues, and one Sunday evening her family leaves while Connie stays home to wash her hair. She dozes off in the sun, then goes inside to cool down. While inside, Connie is shocked to hear a car in her driveway. Peering out the window, she spots a gold convertible and recognizes the driver as the man she saw in the parking lot.

Fig. 2 - A gold convertible car, similar to the one described in “Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?”

The man introduces himself as Arnold Friend and his companion as Ellie. Friend has a smiling face painted on his car, with his name written on it. Connie notices he is unsteady on his feet. Arnold tries but cannot persuade her to get into his car. He suspiciously knows a lot of information about her and can explain what her family is currently doing. He also lies to her (revealing he is manipulative) when she asks how old he is. Noticing both he and Ellie are much older than her, Connie gets scared.

She backs away, and after being threatened, she locks the door to the house. He continues to threaten her, telling her he will harm her family when they return and that he will hurt her if she touches the phone to call the police. She runs to grab the phone, and in a confusing mix of actions, she feels as though he is "stabbing her" with her own breath. Although it is unclear what happened, Connie sits on the floor, visibly traumatized, while Friend looks on.

Friend tells her to hang up the phone and exit the house. She obediently complies while feeling as though she is having an out-of-body experience. Feeling empty, she hears Friend say, "my sweet little blue-eyed girl", while her brown eyes gaze out at the land before her. It is an area she "did not recognize except to know that she was going to it."

Fig. 3 - At the end of the story, Connie doesn’t recognize the journey before her but knows she must take it.

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Characters

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Theme

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" deals with religious and moral concepts. Oates created this allegorical tale to help expose important concepts and even gave evil a face in Arnold Friend.

The Destructive Power of Vanity

The central character in "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" is Connie, a young girl on the cusp of womanhood. She spends her time asserting her independence, fighting with her parents, and staring in the mirror admiring herself. The name Connie is a derivative of the name Constance. Borrowed from the French word "constantem," Constance means resolute, devoted, and faithful.

However, our protagonist, Connie, is none of those things at the onset of the story. She is rebellious and described as having a "nervous giggling habit of craning her neck to glance into mirrors," a habit that shows her vanity. Despite her mother's criticism, Connie maintained an awareness that "she was pretty and that was everything."

Connie is unaware of the adult world or how to navigate in reality because she lacks guidance from her parents. Her mother is critical, sarcastic, and more interested in Connie's habits than in guiding her daughter. Connie's father is a detached figure that works, eats, reads the paper, and sleeps. Her superficial relationships, even with her immediate family, make her ill-prepared for adversity and unable to recognize danger until it is too late.

Revealing a decay in the concept of religion and familial duty, she shirks attending church and decides to stay home when uninterested in a family barbeque. This rejection of the family isolates Connie and leaves her vulnerable. When a strange car arrives, it is not her safety she worries about, but her appearance.

Appearances vs. Reality

In "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Oates toys with the theme of appearance versus reality. The allegorical tale deals with death by showing a young girl on the cusp of her adult life. Connie is physically attractive, but at her core, she lacks many characteristics that we often look for in a "good" person. She doesn't respect her parents, she is ashamed of her sister, she abandons her friends for a boy, and she acts confident when she is insecure. Her internal self, devoid of a solid moral compass, betrays her outer façade.

Arnold Friend is also a character that appears one way but is another. His name "Friend" is scribbled in a tar-like substance on his gold-painted jalopy. He sweet-talks Connie in an attempt to convince her he is kind, but his expressions, his greasy boots, unsteady footing, and age show through. When Friend arrives, Connie is accepting of him and open in conversation. Arnold gives a "smile [that] assured her that everything was fine" but says antagonizing things. He calls her sister "poor, sad" and her dad fat.

He threatens harm, promises to harm her family, and demands she leave the safety of her home. When he promises he won't enter the house, there is no reason to believe him.

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Analysis

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" has an intricately designed yet familiar plot. At its surface, a young girl falls victim to an older man. Allegorically, it is a tale where death and evil steal youth and the future. The first line of the story is a sign that there is something amiss. "Her name was Connie." This simple statement tells us Connie is gone. The setting is based in reality, but once Friend enters the action, events become fantastical.

While out with her best friend one night, Connie abandons her to have dinner with a young boy, Eddie. During her date with Eddie, the reader and Connie are first introduced to Friend. We see him through Connie's eyes:

Connie is bathed in light, smiling with thoughts of happiness, love, and tenderness. The visual imagery describing the serene setting, an almost heaven-like oasis with a sky that is "perfectly blue and still" is a stark contrast to the visitor she is about to receive.

The driver isn't composed as he was the first time she glimpsed him. He seems rushed and is worried if he is late, as though Connie should expect him. His hair is "shabby" and he looks "crazy." Oates uses meticulously chosen diction to describe Arnold Friend and to signal the audience that something is amiss.

Arnold Friend speaks differently. He has an accent that is antiquated, and when he uses colloquialisms, he can't find the right one to fit the time period, giving up and even making some of his own. He stands "in a strange way, leaning back against the car as if he were balancing himself." Then, Arnold is described as a predator.

The simile comparing him to a hawk hunting, sniffing out the game, and ready to gobble her up shows Connie in danger. As the conversation escalates, Friend's language becomes more aggressive as he refers to people as "fat", "stupid", and "sad."

Connie begins to feel weaker and weaker, indicating that her health is also at stake.

In a final child-like act of desperation, Connie calls out for her mom. Suddenly, she is on the floor, her back wet, and obedient to Arnold. She does as he says, and accepts her fate. Walking out the door of her home, her shelter and heaven, Connie feels "hollow" and in a dreamlike state. She rises from the floor, leaves the kitchen, her home, and walks toward Arnold Friend and the expansive landscape before them.

"Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" Symbolism

In true Joyce Carol Oates fashion, the story has potent symbols that reveal wells of meaning beneath the surface.

Arnold Friend and his Boots

One of the most fascinating characters in this short story is the antagonist, Arnold Friend. On the literal level, he is an aggressive character. In the allegorical sense, he is evil, death, or the devil. Associated with darkness, his face hidden behind mirrored glasses, and his eyes squinty, Friend is constantly grinning, but is sinister, evasive, and untrustworthy. His name, with the letter "r" removed, is "an old fiend." He is literally the enemy.

An interesting aspect to note with Arnold is the visual imagery describing his thighs, buttocks, and legs. His "greasy leather boots" may not be boots. Friend has a hard time balancing himself and even relaxing in an upright position. He must stabilize himself against a car, porch post, or door.

His boots, an unusual fashion choice for the hot summer, are high and awkward. His feet are pointing out and bending awkwardly at the ankles. Constantly losing his balance, he struggles to maintain a posture and is embarrassed when "Connie had seen his boots" and recognizes him for what he is: the oldest fiend, the devil.

1. Sjoberg, Leif. An Interview with Joyce Carol Oates. Contemporary Literature. Summer 1982.

2. Moser, Don. The Pied Piper of Tuscon. Life Magazine. March 1966.