Parenting Styles

Definition of Parenting Styles

Would you believe that there are several different approaches to the way parents raise their kids? Just as there are different styles of music like pop, jazz, and hip-hop, they are also different styles of parenting. The characteristic ways that parents respond to, take care of, and discipline their kids determine their parenting style. What are parenting styles, and which style do your parents or caregivers use?

Responsiveness is how attuned a parent is to their child's needs and concerns. It includes things like how involved a parent is in their child's emotional life and how much they listen to and respond to their thoughts and feelings. We all have different relationships with our parents. Do you tell your parents when you feel sad or disappointed? Do you feel comfortable sharing your feelings? Do your parents feel comfortable hearing about them?

Demandingness includes expectations, rules, and discipline. It includes the amount of consistent discipline and structure parents provide for their kids. Some parents listen to their kids before deciding whether they can go to a concert or go out with friends. Some parents make a decision one way or another, and that's the end of the discussion. Some kids never have to ask their parents for permission to do things, and their parents may not even know that they went to a concert!

Fig. 1 Parent and kids, pixabay.com

Types of Parenting Styles in Psychology

The psychologist Diana Baumrind identified 4 major parenting styles in the 1960s. She called these styles authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative.

Authoritarian Parenting

The authoritarian parenting style is characterized by high demandingness and low responsiveness. Authoritarian parents impose strict rules and expect unquestioning obedience. These parents can be rigid in their expectations. Breaking rules is punished, sometimes harshly. Communication about rules and routines is discouraged or forbidden. Basically, authoritarian parenting is all about rules, obedience, and high standards.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parents are the exact opposite of authoritarian parents. They let their kids decide everything for themselves! There are few rules, boundaries, or expectations. Permissive parents can seem more like friends than like parents. They are there for their kids, but maybe not in the way that their kids need in order to develop good boundaries and decision-making skills.

The permissive parenting style is characterized by low demandingness and medium to high responsiveness. These parents are often warm and friendly with their children but give them little guidance or direction. Where authoritarian parents are too demanding, permissive parents are too undemanding of their children. They have an overly relaxed parenting style. They set few limits or expectations for their children and establish little to no punishments for problematic behavior.

Uninvolved Parenting

Have you ever met someone whose parent just never seems to be around or care about what their kid does? This is the uninvolved parenting style. Other than meeting basic needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.), uninvolved parents are completely disconnected and almost entirely absent from a child's life.

The uninvolved parenting style is characterized by low demandingness and low responsiveness. These parents see their responsibilities as ending with providing basic needs. They do not cultivate close relationships with their children, only interacting with them as need demands. Uninvolved parents can be unresponsive to or completely unaware of the greater needs or concerns of their kids. Uninvolved parents do not establish rules or expectations and rarely follow through with punishment. Cases of neglect are sometimes due to uninvolved parenting.

Authoritative Parenting

Notice the different term here: authoritative instead of authoritarian. Authoritative parents engage in meaningful relationships with their children and are appropriately involved in decision-making. They provide just enough structure and rules to keep their kids safe and healthy while allowing them to grow, learn, and begin making their own decisions. Kids feel like they have more of a voice because of the give-and-take nature of authoritative parenting.

The authoritative parenting style is characterized by medium demandingness and high responsiveness. These parents establish clear, consistent rules for their children but are open to discussion or nuance within these rules, especially as their children get older. Authoritative parents are appropriately demanding but are also responsive to their children's reactions and needs. They are involved in their children's lives and encourage them to develop their interests and independence.

Parenting Styles, StudySmarter Original

Parenting Styles and Attachment Styles

Attachment refers to the emotional bond between a child and their parent or guardian. The way a child relates to their parent or caregiver in early life often influences the way they behave in future relationships. Children benefit immensely from having at least one secure attachment with an adult figure as they are growing up. There are four different attachment styles:

• Secure Attachment: trust and confidence that their parents will be there for them.

• Ambivalent Attachment: uncertain or insecure toward their parents.

• Avoidant Attachment: distrustful and uncomfortable towards their parents.

• Disorganized Attachment: unsafe with their parents, uncertain, insecure, distrustful, and uncomfortable towards them.

A certain parenting style is not guaranteed to lead to a secure attachment style. Many factors influence the development of an attachment style. However, certain parenting styles are more likely to produce a secure or insecure attachment. The authoritative parenting style is the most likely to lead to a secure attachment style in children. Kids with authoritative parents are often more trusting and confident in their relationships. They have a stronger sense of self and independence.

Ambivalent, avoidant, and disorganized are all insecure attachment styles. Authoritarian and uninvolved parenting styles are associated with insecure attachments. Inconsistency or harshness from parental figures can result in children who struggle with self-esteem, trust, or dependency. Children of permissive parents can go on to form secure or insecure attachments. These parents are highly responsive to their children, and this fosters a more secure attachment. However, the inconsistency and lack of restraint associated with this parenting style can also result in an insecure attachment.

Fig. 3 Parenting, pixabay.com

The Importance of Parenting Styles

Parenting styles can influence important outcomes in a child's life. Children of authoritarian parents may develop low self-esteem and become socially withdrawn. Their brains and nervous systems may be prone to overreact when they make small mistakes. They often have poorer social skills than other children, tending to be unfriendly or harsh. Permissive parents can produce children who struggle with self-control. They can be moody, immature, or aggressive.

Uninvolved parenting can have the most severe lasting effects on a child's development. Children of uninvolved parents can seem indifferent or emotionally detached. These children may develop poor social skills and low self-esteem. They may also feel unloved and are at greater risk for anxiety, depression, and substance abuse. These children tend to perform worse in school and struggle with self-control.

Children of authoritative parents are perhaps best off when it comes to parenting styles. These children tend to be likable and independent, with good social skills and a strong sense of self. Children of authoritative parents tend to be the most socially responsible and have the highest self-esteem. The authoritative parenting style is considered the most ideal style in American society. This style balances expectations for academic and personal achievement with the love and nurturing children need to grow up and become confident and emotionally balanced.